3 Strategies for Quieting Naysayers
By Susan Gonzalez - Author of "100 Perks of Having Cancer Plus 100 Health Tips for Surviving It" Obsessed With Progress - Featured Guest! Congratulations! You’ve hatched an idea that you know will make you successful and happy and you can’t wait to get started. You’ve made a plan, set your goals, and you’re already putting your plan into motion. It won’t be easy, but you welcome the challenge. You are soooo excited! Soon, those close to you start to get wind of your plans and you tell them all about it with great enthusiasm. But you’re not really prepared for their responses. You didn’t think that maybe there would be some around you who aren’t as excited about your plan as you are. You didn’t think you’d get responses that would make you doubt yourself. Now, you’re not so sure you can do this. You feel your excitement losing its shape faster than a stick of butter in a microwave. While getting advice is never a bad idea, there is one way to avoid getting sucker punched: Be prepared. Here are 3 ways you can react to those who want to shoot down your dreams. Being prepared with all 3 ways allows you the advantage of choosing different methods to use on select people. The careful use of these techniques will help you to exit conversations with your enthusiasm for your dreams intact. 1. Ignore/Agree with them: ”Ignore” means you are looking at them while they speak to you, but your mind is on watching that Cats Gone Wild YouTube clip that you’re saving to watch until after dinner. This is a bit rude, but necessary in some cases. Agreeing may not be easy to do depending on who “they” are. Remember, agreeing means you’ll need to be OK with the fact that they may feel and act superior to you for a while and this might encourage them to give you advice in other areas of your life such as relationships and fashion. (Thankfully, you are not required to agree with them on any additional matters.) It’s easy to ignore or mindlessly agree with those whose opinions mean nothing to you, but if it’s your spouse or family member, it may cause trouble. It is, however, the easiest method and the one that yields the quickest escape. You’ll need to be someone who is very disciplined in non-reaction, as you might be pelted with personal assaults on your character and abilities. You may want to practice your non-reaction skills by maintaining composure while you immerse your hand in a pot of scalding hot water. You can end the conversation with “Thanks for all your valuable help with this!” This will allow you to walk away from the encounter no worse off then when you entered it. In fact, you may not even recall the conversation at all. 2. Listen to them: Listen to all the reasons they present as to why your process won’t work and thoughtfully consider them without engaging in a conversation. Sometimes hearing why you can’t do something is so absurd and wrong that it reinforces your belief in yourself that you can do it. Chances are you’ve already thought about most of the possible snags and you’ve come up with the solutions, but there may actually be some value is getting a different point of view. But consider the source. The one with 3 failed businesses who is currently in foreclosure will be able to cook up a financial failure feast, but her recipe for success might taste pretty bad. Nosh at your own risk. 3. Engage: This is by far the most valuable strategy but it requires some preparation and skill. When engaging, it’s important to get your ideas and thought across without becoming loud or defensive. Again, easier when dealing with some, more than others. When coming up with goals for success, whether it be losing 20 pounds or starting a successful importing company, you’ve usually thought it through and listed your goals realistically considering the problematic issues attached to each step. Sometimes people don’t have a clue about your commitment to your idea and they often don’t know your level of perseverance and what you’re willing to give to make your project a success. Engaging with adversity also reinforces the confidence you have in your abilities. Just stick to the points and end it with a statement of belief or affirmation like “I will succeed in meeting all my goals”. You know how great you are and you know what you are capable of. There are always going to be those who want to see you fail because let’s face it, it makes them look good. Being prepared for an assault arms you with what you need to survive an attack while boosting your confidence and helps you reinforce the commitment you have to achieve your dream. Bring ‘em on! -------------------------------------- About Susan Gonzalez Susan Gonzalez, R.N., BSN, earned her nursing degree in New York in 1986 and has been helping people “get well” ever since. But no matter where her nursing career path led her, it was empowering patients with knowledge that she loved the most. Diagnosed with cancer in 2005, Susan had a unique perspective on the disease, being a nurse in the patient’s role. (something nurses are terrible at, by the way) She took that knowledge and her passion for finding natural cures to fight disease and started writing a blog for those who wanted to make simple changes for healthy living with an emphasis on avoiding cancer. With 100 Perks of Having Cancer plus 100 Health Tips for Surviving It, Susan hopes to reach many more people with the message that making small lifestyle changes can lead to achieving optimum health and happiness. Susan currently lives in Atlanta with her husband and two daughters.